JOKES

lindamtrutt · Posted: Sat Mar 06, 2010 2:34 pm Post subject:

The Pirate in the Bar

A pirate walked into a bar, and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."

"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."

"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."

The bartender replied, "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"

The pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really."

"What about that eye patch?"

"Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them shit in my eye."

"You're kidding," said the bartender. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird shit."

"It was my first day with the hook."
_________________
Linda #35 ILSB
Director of Sizzling Hot Men

Thanks to Marina for my new signature

starfire · Posted: Sat Mar 06, 2010 8:09 pm Post subject:

i like that one linda Wink

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lindamtrutt · Posted: Sun Mar 07, 2010 1:03 am Post subject:

Beate · Ba-Chick Joined: 27 Oct 2006 Posts: 1629 Location: Germany

It is hilarious Linda. Laughing

_________________

"When the cat's away the mice will play."
#116 Private Assistant of Admiral Telemachus Rhade

Beate · Ba-Chick Joined: 27 Oct 2006 Posts: 1629 Location: Germany

Brthday

Blowing out candles is good exercise for the lungs.

The only assured gift that every one of us gets on our birthday is another year.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese.

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake.
_________________

"When the cat's away the mice will play."
#116 Private Assistant of Admiral Telemachus Rhade

adra · Posted: Sat Mar 13, 2010 11:47 pm Post subject:

I sure do agree! By the way, I hope that our favorite guy here has a lot of cake for his birthday. Which is probably Devil's Food Chocolate Twisted Evil

!

Love,
Adra Wink

lindamtrutt · Posted: Sun Mar 14, 2010 12:19 am Post subject:

lindamtrutt · Posted: Mon Mar 15, 2010 12:14 am Post subject:

Husband and wife in bed

Husband and wife in bed together.
She feels his hand rubbing her shoulder.
She: "Oh, that feels good."
His hand moves to her breast.
She: "Gee, honey, that feels wonderful."
His hand moves to her leg.
She: "Oh, honey, don't stop."
But he stops
She: "Why did you stop?"
He: "I found the remote."
_________________
Linda #35 ILSB
Director of Sizzling Hot Men

Thanks to Marina for my new signature

adra · Posted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 6:49 am Post subject:

Oh, Hell to the No! OH HELL TO THE NO! There are consequences and repercusssions to doing shit like this. And I'm not taking it back Evil or Very Mad

!

Sincerely,
Adra Mad

lindamtrutt · Posted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 12:10 pm Post subject:

adra · Posted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 5:41 pm Post subject:

Are you kidding! He was feeling her up, getting her all hot and bothered.....just to find the television remote? I understand the joke Laughing

.....and it's funny to a degree. But nothing would be funny about my reaction, in terms of my man doing something like this. It would be the last time he did it.

Sincerely,
Adra Wink

lindamtrutt · Posted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 6:12 pm Post subject:

lindamtrutt · Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 2:22 pm Post subject:

HOW IS NORMA?
.............. This is hilarious !!

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it
possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient
is doing?"

The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number
of the patient?"

The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room
302."

The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check with
the nurse's station for that room."

After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, "I have
good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well.
Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her
physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."

The grandmother said, "Thank you.
That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good
news."

The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?"

The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me shit."

TRUE STORY
_________________
Linda #35 ILSB
Director of Sizzling Hot Men

Thanks to Marina for my new signature

adra · Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 8:20 am Post subject:

What brillance!

Sincerely,
Adra Wink

lindamtrutt · Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 4:42 pm Post subject:

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